I've had the fear of blogging before I started the blog, which delayed me for two years. I thought after I built up the courage to actually start one I would have conquered my fear. I guess not!
If I'm honest here I was scared of what people may think and say. Especially friends and family. I'm only human. When I started my blog I thought I might get the odd question or comment from my friends and extended family. Nothing was mentioned. Not even a 'like' on Facebook from most although it didn't surprise me much. I had more support from complete strangers. The lack of support or acknowledgment knocked my confidence.
I was forgetting that the only people that really mattered for support were standing right beside me cheering me on. The only persons opinion that mattered was my own.
One of the reasons I started a blog is because I love to share ideas. When I was at school I would happily share my test question answers with anyone who was stuck. I remember sitting my GCSE business paper and holding up my paper at an angle so my friend could see my answer. It was probably the wrong answer, sorry ***** but I had your back!
When I found the world of blogging and vlogging I struck gold. I finally found people who think like me. I finally found a place where I felt I belonged in a way. I guess I'm not your typical 20 something girl. I didn't have a 'standard' upbringing. I had a very happy childhood but it defiantly was not boring but that is a different blog post. My best friend growing up was from a whole different world to me and she really opened my eyes and heart. So I guess this all shaped me into the person I am today and the way I think. The older I'm getting the more I'm beginning to understand myself.
These bloggers and vloggers that I love inspire me every day to just be the best version of myself, as cheesy as it sounds its true. From little things like cookie recipes to dealing with anxiety.
I suppose looking back over the last couple of years I really needed that inspiration. At the time I was the only one out of my friends that had a baby. I hadn't long finished university and started a full time job in my chosen career path which I choose to give up a few months into it. My family were going through a difficult time and I had some adult big decisions to make and a little baby to take care of at the age of 22. Over time I lost a few friends too. I have no bad feelings towards them. I suppose my priorities had to change. I had to change. Maybe they didn't understand that, and that's ok. But finding this world really helped me escape and laugh at the hard times. Finding people who think like you fills your loneliness and gives you that little bit of comfort.
Llanelli where I am from can seem so small and filled with small minded people who are quick to judge anything they don't understand or is not within the 'norm.' It can be scary doing anything different. But there is a bigger world out there than just this town.
So I'm going to start publishing my blog posts again and put my 'don't give a fuck' hat back on. I hope this inspires anyone reading this to put their hats on too.
Be Brave
Jade
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