Anxiety

It's 3 am and I've woken up. 1 million thoughts rush through my mind that I can't rationalize or filter. 

And now its 4 am and I'm starting to worry if I will be able to go back to sleep. I don't. 

This typically happens on THE NIGHT my kids actually sleep right through. My anxiety has a great sense of humor. 

I think I started to suffer from mild anxiety as soon as I become a mother. I think most mothers do. Its all part of being a parent...worry!
 I never use to be a worrier. My grandfather use to think I was fearless when I was younger. He dropped me off at my first day in a new job at 16, and asked me in the car on the way there if I was nervous. I said 'no, why should i be?' and he has never forgotten my response since. He couldn't believe it. But I honestly didn't know what there was to be nervous about. Put me in that same situation today and I would a completely different person. 

We all suffer from stress from time to time and deal with it differently. I'm not going to bore you with my 1st world problems or worries when there are real issues in the world. However I am only human and although there are always people worse off in the world than you, anxiety takes no prisoners.   

I wanted to share one of the ways in which I deal with my anxiety in hopes it may help some of you too. 

Being Organised/ Family Planner

I'm going to upload a video about my family planner and what is inside of it in more detail which you can watch on my YouTube channel in a few days. Basically it involves my whole life. Every appointment, cleaning routine, meal plans and so on.

My brother thinks I have too much time on my hands to be organizing my life like that. Wait until you see my madness inside. However with two small kids and another one on the way I wish that was the case. 

This is something I had to make time for and actually do for my mental health. 

Being unorganized and living in chaos is my personal trigger. For some it could be traffic. Everyone has a trigger. Things like rushing the kids on the school run so we barely talk in the morning and forgetting to attend play group really bothers me. I hate feeling like a shit mother. I know I am not perfect and none could be. Unfortunately I can not tell myself this when its keep me up at night. The mother guilt! The m-o-t-h-e-r of all guilt trips. 

So I designed my own personal family planner. It helps me be more productive. Less stressed out when I'm not rushing around or forgetting important appointments. At the start of my pregnancy my midwife went crazy because I had forgotten to go for so many blood tests. 

Have you ever sat down and felt so overwhelmed with everything that you need to do? But you become paralyzed by your own thoughts so nothing gets done. This use to happen to me at least once a week at one point. 

You know that feeling you get when you've finally put away all the clean washing that has been sitting on your kitchen table for the last couple of days? The relief! 

Imagine feeling like that every day because everything is in order. That's what my planner does for me. It clears my mind and helps me breathe. 

It may not be for everyone and I understand that. But what I want to get at here is that everyone can feel overwhelmed. Its what you choose to do to help yourself in that situation that matters. Even if your have a wonderful family and great friends and a therapist and doctors. Only you can help yourself. 

You alone. 

You can choose to let yourself get swallowed up and reach a breaking point or stand tall and remember 
'you're a queen, you got this shit handled' 
so let the anxiety attack happen.
 But don't let it beat you. Dust yourself off and do what you need to do for you. Regardless if you look crazy or not and as always...

Be Brave 

Jade 

XxX