How I Save Money On My Food Shopping

When I first started 'food shopping' I was only buying for Tim and myself. I didn't know the difference between a leek and a spring onion. I would go to Tesco and just grab things off the shelves with the image of my mother in my mind on what she use to buy. Salad, potatoes, ham, WINE, chocolate and so on. The bill would usually be between £80-£100.  A bit expensive just for a couple who would end up eating 3 takeaway's and throwing the food in the bin by the end of the week (never the wine and chocolate). We both worked all hours and shifts and the thought of cooking sometimes gave us bile at the end of a 12 hour shift.

How wasteful on money, time and energy that food shop was. 

Over the years our circumstances have changed with jobs, money, children and just day to day life really. We have been through some hard times financially and some flush times where I have been able to buy the Especially Selected Lemon Cheese Cake from Aldies. It is to divine. Here's a little relationship advise while I'm on the topic. Find someone who can make you laugh through the hard times and marry them. Anyways I couldn't afford to food shop the way I did and there is nothing I hate more than throwing away food. We started to have children and I wanted to feed them good home made food like I had as a child but it all seemed so complicated and expensive.  So I did quiet a bit of research... Well I still do on the topic. By all means I'm not an expert here. 

I've learnt a few thing over the years and have a few tips to share with any of you who can relate and feels stuck in a rut with food shopping.

1. Meal prep

I can't not express this enough. It makes your life a thousand times easier. Plan your breakfast, lunches and evening meals. I'm deadly serious!
Write out a list of your meals and stick them on your fridge each week. Make sure to check your diary when planning your meals. You don't want to be cooking a new recipe the night your son has football training and you won't be home until gone 6pm. 

From there you can make a food shopping list. This will save you money and time. Just run into the shop with your list grab what's on there and get out. Your more likely to eat healthily and meal prepping will be less stressful. Googling what to make tonight on your lunch break in work, realising you don't have half the ingredients means a pit stop at Tesco on your way home. Wasting time and money. Planning is key! 

I plan for 6 days each week. I cook homemade meals but sometimes I do cheat with a jar. I may work from home but it's still hard to get to my kitchen. We always have a take away once a week. We may grab something out one day for lunch or there is always something left over. Going onto my next tip.

2. Cook in batches when you can. 

Double what your cooking. If your making a lasagna or cooking a chicken. Make double. You can freeze one lasagna for a weeks time and make chicken sandwiches for lunch boxes the next day. This saves you so much time. If the kids have driven you insane all day and you have absolutely no energy to make a meal tonight. No problem pull that lasagna out you froze two weeks ago and you have a home cooked meal ready to go. 

3. Buy a slow cooker.

These bad boys are a mums ultimate life hack. Throw all the ingredients in the slow cooker in the morning. Remember to switch it on!! (Yes I've done that) and it will sit there cooking all day while you go to work or take care of the kids all day. Now not every slow cooker recipe is nice. Never attempt to cook a lasagna in one. Trust me! My go to slow cooker meals are a gammon joint, beef stew, and a curry. I have a handful of slow cooker meals we actually like and doesn't taste of 'slow cooker' if you get. Il share them recipes on another blog. 

4. Buy frozen veg and fruit.

Jamie Oliver has said himself that there is more nutritional value and freshness in a frozen vegetable that a fresh one. The reason is that the frozen vegetable gets frozen at his peak of freshness and goodness. The fresh kind may be sitting in a warehouse and shop for a few more days. These frozen vegetables are all chopped up and ready for you in your freezer. You can even get frozen chopped onions. What a day to be alive! And if you don't end up cooking that Wednesday's meal you planned because you'r child had the bug and all hell broke loose. No problem. You won't be throwing away the vegetables at the end of the week that's rotted in your fridge. There in your freezer still fresh as ..

5. Shop around or online.

What I mean here is either shop in Aldies and farm foods or Tesco or do a food shop online at Tesco. Now I've tried the two methods here. You save money both ways but you save more time shopping online but you get more for your money if you shop around. What works best for me and my family is the shopping around. So I shop in Aldies and farm foods once a week on a Sunday. I get most things in Aldies and get my tinned beans, frozen veg and butter in farm foods (I only buy clover butter). When I shopped online I spend the same amount but my cupboard and fridge seemed so empty. Although everything was there for my meal plan it was lacking in a few extra bits I would get in my budget. Life with kids can be so unpredictable having a few extra tins of beans, eggs, easy to grab snacks in the fridge is always handy.

6. Try something new each week.
This will broaden your recipes so you don't eat the same thing week after week and get bored with food and life. You might find something you love or hate along the way. If it's hate make sure you have a frozen pizza ready to go in the freezer instead. Although this won't save you money, it will save your sanity when your starving and your meal tastes horrendous, shrug it off, eat a pizza and try again next week.

7. Try a meat free day once a week!
Trust me here. I have 3 boys and a Tim who adores meat. They have tried a few of my recipes and adore them. Maybe not so much my 2 year old who lives off pancakes and air. But that's another story.
Cauiflour tacos,
Vegtable stir fry,
Vegtable sushi,
Butternut squash soup
Sweetpotato and chick pea curry.

The list goes on and Google is your best friend here. Do not knock it until you try it. Veggies and potatoes are so cheap but they can make a delicious meal. Vegetarians and vegans do not just live off salad. Do some research. Which lead me into my next tip.

8. Join a slow cooker group on Facebook. Subscribe to a vegetarian youtuber, Join any community that will share their ideas with you on food. There are some marvellous clever people out. Find them!

If anyone would like some recipes or a sample of my meal plan and shopping list. Comment below and i'l pop them up. I hope these tips have helped some of you. Now get planning!

Be Brave
Jade X

Anxiety

It's 3 am and I've woken up. 1 million thoughts rush through my mind that I can't rationalize or filter. 

And now its 4 am and I'm starting to worry if I will be able to go back to sleep. I don't. 

This typically happens on THE NIGHT my kids actually sleep right through. My anxiety has a great sense of humor. 

I think I started to suffer from mild anxiety as soon as I become a mother. I think most mothers do. Its all part of being a parent...worry!
 I never use to be a worrier. My grandfather use to think I was fearless when I was younger. He dropped me off at my first day in a new job at 16, and asked me in the car on the way there if I was nervous. I said 'no, why should i be?' and he has never forgotten my response since. He couldn't believe it. But I honestly didn't know what there was to be nervous about. Put me in that same situation today and I would a completely different person. 

We all suffer from stress from time to time and deal with it differently. I'm not going to bore you with my 1st world problems or worries when there are real issues in the world. However I am only human and although there are always people worse off in the world than you, anxiety takes no prisoners.   

I wanted to share one of the ways in which I deal with my anxiety in hopes it may help some of you too. 

Being Organised/ Family Planner

I'm going to upload a video about my family planner and what is inside of it in more detail which you can watch on my YouTube channel in a few days. Basically it involves my whole life. Every appointment, cleaning routine, meal plans and so on.

My brother thinks I have too much time on my hands to be organizing my life like that. Wait until you see my madness inside. However with two small kids and another one on the way I wish that was the case. 

This is something I had to make time for and actually do for my mental health. 

Being unorganized and living in chaos is my personal trigger. For some it could be traffic. Everyone has a trigger. Things like rushing the kids on the school run so we barely talk in the morning and forgetting to attend play group really bothers me. I hate feeling like a shit mother. I know I am not perfect and none could be. Unfortunately I can not tell myself this when its keep me up at night. The mother guilt! The m-o-t-h-e-r of all guilt trips. 

So I designed my own personal family planner. It helps me be more productive. Less stressed out when I'm not rushing around or forgetting important appointments. At the start of my pregnancy my midwife went crazy because I had forgotten to go for so many blood tests. 

Have you ever sat down and felt so overwhelmed with everything that you need to do? But you become paralyzed by your own thoughts so nothing gets done. This use to happen to me at least once a week at one point. 

You know that feeling you get when you've finally put away all the clean washing that has been sitting on your kitchen table for the last couple of days? The relief! 

Imagine feeling like that every day because everything is in order. That's what my planner does for me. It clears my mind and helps me breathe. 

It may not be for everyone and I understand that. But what I want to get at here is that everyone can feel overwhelmed. Its what you choose to do to help yourself in that situation that matters. Even if your have a wonderful family and great friends and a therapist and doctors. Only you can help yourself. 

You alone. 

You can choose to let yourself get swallowed up and reach a breaking point or stand tall and remember 
'you're a queen, you got this shit handled' 
so let the anxiety attack happen.
 But don't let it beat you. Dust yourself off and do what you need to do for you. Regardless if you look crazy or not and as always...

Be Brave 

Jade 

XxX

I WAX MY FACE

So my dark facial hair out stayed it's welcome years ago. From the first comment thrown at me from a boy I fancied. Oh the horror! The embarrassment! 

It did absolute wonders for my self esteem in my teens.

 I tried bleaching and other things to get rid of it. But I was still unhappy and extremely self conscious. I felt like I was the only girl in school who suffered from facial hair. I had a uni-brow, mustache and dark side burns. I would literally stare at girls upper lips to get a climbs of any hair just so I can tell myself that I'm not the only one. Oh how i wished I was a blonde haired blue eyed skinny girl with bald lips and private parts.  I won't even get into the changing room scenario for gym when your mother still buys you granny knickers and you're one of the first to hit puberty. Don't you just miss your awkward pre teen self and the school days...

Anyways fast forward a few more years and I decided to wax my whole face. I just wanted a bald face and waxing was the way to do that. I didn't want anyone to tell me 'oh don't worry, so and so also has dark side burns' because even those it was nice to know I wasn't the only one, It was still unwanted. As uncomfortable as it can be, it is definitely worth it, for me personally. it doesn't grow back thicker, my skin feels so smooth and my make up looks better plus I have NO HAIR. The main goal here! It helped in some way for my self esteem but not as much as I expected. I was still as self conscious as ever over the littlest thing. 

You see there is a fine line between learning to love yourself and changing something about you that makes you so unhappy. 

There was nothing more satisfying to me that when I was around 17 years old. That boy I fancied back in my pre teens who made a comment about my facial hair, offered to buy me a drink on a night out and to take me home. I 'politely' declined his offer and the pre teen girl inside of me was screaming "YOU GO GIRL." 

I certainly didn't need approval from a man or that man for sure. I needed to learn to love myself for who I am. You can change the way you look but you can't change who you are. I've been with some shitty men who would openly admit they didn't like something about my appearance and for me change it. Them men aren't worth your time ladies. Trust me. 

My fiance has watched me wax my hair, watched it grow back over weeks and weeks and guess what. He is still here and still wants to have sex with me. He has never in an arugment used my insecurities to hurt my feelings either and we have been together for 6 years. Such things like "go and shave your hairy face!" or "your eyebrows are shit." Those comments would hurt my feelings. He just usually calls me a psycho. Which isnt even an insult to me. I am quiet proud he thinks I have a psychotic side. It shows he fears me in some way, it keeps him in line. I think we all have a little Harley Quinn inside of us. It has taken me years to master my inner psycho. You dont need to get a criminal record by smashing a mans car up to show how piss off you are. No man is worth that hassle. If you need to show how mad you are about something and your inner spycho is approaching the surface start to cook him food. Display mad crazy eyes and just start laughing out aloud hysterically now and again. Hahahaha...it works. 
 On a serious note ...find a man that loves you for you but firstly please learn to love yourself. 

Learning to love yourself, warts and all is  an extremely hard task. For me the only way you can do that is through age and who you surround yourself with. Age and experience does wonderful things to your mind. Don't you wish you could go back and tell yourself a few things you have learnt over time!? Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you. You will see the world through different eyes. 

When you truly have master the art of 'giving no fucks' you stop comparing yourself to others. You start to live in this bubble where you wouldn't know if planet melted at your feet because your too busy ignoring the world. 

I'm still learning every day to give no fucks. It's a process. Although I still choose to wax my face it doesn't define me and my self esteem. 

If you are thinking of waxing your face I have a video link below on how I do it and also some tips. Just a little disclaimer I am no professional so if you have never waxed before seek advise from a professional first. If you have experience, It doesn't hurt half as much as a bikini line wax. If you can do that...girl I worship your pain threshold.  I hope you like the video. And as always

Be Brave

Jade 

XxX

My Links
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/upload
TWITTER jadefarrell26
SNAPCHAT jadefarrell26
INSTAGRAM jadefarrell26

My Camp America Experience

At the age of 18 years old my dreams came true. No joke, I still think it was all a dream. I touched American ground. I was out there for 3 months doing Camp America. One of the best experiences of my life and I urge anyone who is thinking of doing it, to just do it!

So as a child going into my teens I had an obsession with America and its whole culture. I would watch endless American TV and wished I lived out there. Me and my best friend would argue who was Rachel and who was Monica from 'Friends.' We were both hard core fans and both wanted to be Rachel. Looking at our personalities now you were right. Your Rachel and I'm defiantly Monica, I admit defeat. Anyways ...It was such an alien world to mine and I was intrigued. 

America did not disappoint. It was everything I imagined. It was just like the 'movies', it really was the trip of a lifetime for me.

I was placed on a Camp in Maine for disabled children and adults. My job was a camp counsellor which meant we took care of the campers holistic needs for 24 hours over 6 days. We ate and slept together. It was the hardest job I have ever had to date. It is just like the role of a mother, completely selfless. One camp counsellor described the job role perfectly to me one day "it is the worst job you will ever love." It is hard core for someone like me who just turned 18 and could barely take care of themselves but I LOVE IT. It changed me and I taught me the true meaning of hard work and how to put others before yourself.
I was just so grateful to just be there. I counted my blessings everyday!

The people I met out there from the Americans to the British and German were the nicest and I mean NICEST I have ever met. So different from most people I knew. The girls weren't bitchy. They boys weren't creeps. We were just one big family on a journey together. One I will treasure and carry for as long as I can remember. The Americans and their families welcomed you into their homes on your weeks off and offered you somewhere to sleep. The British always had open arms and lifted you up when you were home sick. We all looked out for each other yet we all just met. We truly all cared for each other's well being.
 Even when the laws tried to separate us.

 So here's the thing, the drinking age in America is 21. A few of us were 18. I was the only British girl under age. So on our days off we wanted to drink... Of course we did. We were allowed in the bars and clubs but had to wear a wrist band that glowed in the dark screaming UNDER AGE and had to be kept in a separate area of the club. You can imagine how we felt. The 'older' guys hated it just as much as us so they organised a trip to Canada on one of our weeks off. There we could ALL drink and let our hair down. I don't remember much from my first night there...  but looking back at photos it was wild and looked like so much fun!

My traveling was insane. I spent 3 whole days on a buss (to sleep as well) traveling around America until we reached The Grand Canyon, Las Vegas and San Francisco which we spent a few days in each destination until I dragged myself back on that buss for ANOTHER 3 days to get to New York. As much as my body ached  I got to see the non tourist side of America as well as the tourist. I saw so many different states and collected post cards from everywhere I went to keep and show my kids one day. There were a few cray cray moments along the way too. I didn't pack a sleeping bag so I literally froze camping in the Grand Canyon. Every hour I had to walk to the toilets and sit under the hand drier to warm up. I had money stolen from me TWICE from my own stupidity. Here's a tip, don't hand your card over to pretty girls waving scarfs in Vegas. But you live and learn and it wasn't the end of the world. It certainly didn't destroy my experience, it was just part of it.

I'm not the most well travelled person in the world don't get me wrong but nevertheless this was and is huge to me. I worked so hard to get there and I never thought in a million years I would actually go. I don't come from a family of money or well travelled for that matter. So I had to work hard and be brave and do something that none could advise me on.  It taught me so much about the world and myself and I truly do believe that travel broadens the mind.

You CAN achieve anything if you work hard enough for it.





Be Brave

Jade
XxX


My Links
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClMCTF5Y3mw
TWITTER jadefarrell26
SNAPCHAT jadefarrell26
INSTAGRAM jadefarrell26

FEAR OF BLOGGING

I started a blog a few months back but I have only put five blog posts live. I have thirteen drafts waiting to be finalised and published but I had the 'fear of blogging.'
I've had the fear of blogging before I started the blog, which delayed me for two years. I thought after I built up the courage to actually start one I would have conquered my fear. I guess not!


If I'm honest here I was scared of what people may think and say. Especially friends and family. I'm only human. When  I started my blog I thought I might get the odd question or comment from my friends and extended family. Nothing was mentioned. Not even a 'like' on Facebook from most although it didn't surprise me much. I had more support from complete strangers. The lack of support or acknowledgment knocked my confidence.


 I was forgetting that the only people that really mattered for support were standing right beside me cheering me on. The only persons opinion that mattered was my own.


One of the reasons I started a blog is because I love to share ideas. When I was at school I would happily share my test question answers with anyone who was stuck. I remember sitting my GCSE business paper and holding up my paper at an angle so my friend could see my answer. It was probably the wrong answer, sorry ***** but I had your back!


When I found the world of blogging and vlogging I struck gold. I finally found people who think like me. I finally found a place where I felt I belonged in a way. I guess I'm not your typical 20 something girl. I didn't have a 'standard' upbringing. I had a very happy childhood but it defiantly was not boring but that is a different blog post. My best friend growing up was from a whole different world to me and she really opened my eyes and heart. So I guess this all shaped me into the person I am today and the way I think. The older I'm getting the more I'm beginning to understand myself.


These bloggers and vloggers that I love inspire me every day to just be the best version of myself, as cheesy as it sounds its true. From little things like cookie recipes to dealing with anxiety.
I suppose looking back over the last couple of years I really needed that inspiration. At the time I was the only one out of my friends that had a baby. I hadn't long finished university and started a full time job in my chosen career path which I choose to give up a few months into it. My family were going through a difficult time and I had some adult big decisions to make and a little baby to take care of at the age of 22. Over time I lost a few friends too. I have no bad feelings towards them. I suppose my priorities had to change. I had to change. Maybe they didn't understand that, and that's ok. But finding this world really helped me escape and laugh at the hard times. Finding people who think like you fills your loneliness and gives you that little bit of comfort.


Llanelli where I am from can seem so small and filled with small minded people who are quick to judge anything they don't understand or is not within the 'norm.' It can be scary doing anything different. But there is a bigger world out there than just this town.


So I'm going to start publishing my blog posts again and put my 'don't give a fuck' hat back on. I hope this inspires anyone reading this to put their hats on too.


Be Brave

Jade

XxX

My Links

Youtube: Jade Farrell

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jade.farrell.549
Twitter: jadefarrell26
Snapchat: Jadefarrell26
Instagram: jadefarrell26

Easy Healthy Summer Snacks

As a mother, who has the time and energy to make these all so healthy wonderful and colourful Instagram famous breakfast and lunches!?

Between work, the school run, the night feeds, the nappy changes, we barely have time to breathe. On my worst days where I've woken up late, prepared nothing for the day ahead and the kids are miserable I've snacked on a whole pack of baby bell, crisps and stale biscuits that the kids don't eat (heaven forbid I ate their kinder chocolate). Come the evening to make supper I am too exhausted to cook and end up serving everyone with pizza and can't be bother to even wash the pizza tray until the morning. No wander, I've barely eaten all day. It's amazing how eating right can change your mood, energy levels, skin and way of thinking.



The thing is I've always loved healthy food since I can remember. A tuna jacket potato is more appealing to me than a chippy. I guess I'm just really lucky there. But eating healthy is more time consuming. Don't get me wrong I'm partial to a Chinese take away and a bar of chocolate. But over all I'd say I have a 'balanced' diet.

Since becoming a mother however my eating habits started to go down hill out of pure laziness and exhaustion. The thing is how can I take care of everyone when I can't take care of myself!? Eating right has an enormous impact on my quality of life and it's something I have to do to be the best mother and person I can be. I am constantly browsing Pintrest for easy healthy ideas and have come across a few ideas that are delicious, healthy and most importantly easy. They are a hit with the kids too.

My 'how to' YouTube Video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLsCJ-AmOpw&feature=youtu.be

Fruit Kebabs

Now I buy a bulk of fruit every week. My kids eat tones of it. However the thought of washing and cutting up strawberries for myself with a screaming toddler on my arm is too much some days. Let alone cut up a watermelon.Its shameful how many watermelons I have thrown away at the end of the week. A friend once told me to cut up all your fruit and place it in a bowl in the fridge. Easy to grab and all the work is done ahead of time. I've gone one step further. Fruit Kebebs. I can just grab one out of the fridge and eat it as I'm potting about. They look so colourful and appealing in the hot weather to the kids too.  So I just grab one out for them and they can eat it as they are running around outside or as we are heading out the door. And it's so simple to do. Also great when packing a picnic. Pop a few in an air tight container with a little lemon juice and you have healthy lolly pops for the kids. As soon as you buy all your weekly fruit set aside time to cut and wash everything and place them on the sticks. That little amount of effort goes along way with your week ahead. I use lolly pop sticks instead of the kebab skewers for safety reasons with the kids. You can buy these at home bargains or amazon link down below.

Ingredients

Any fruit that you like, I used the kids favourite.

Strawberries 

Raspberries

Blueberries

Grapes

Watermelon

What you will need

Chopping board

Knife

Lolli pop sticks/ kebab skewers

Method

Chop and wash all your fruit into bite size spices (blueberries you can leave as they are, highly recommend chopping a grape in half for safety reasons for young kids).

Place each piece one at a time on the stick. Put as many as you want on each stick (make sure these is room on one end for the kids to hold it as a lolly pop stick) you can get really creative here with the colours. 

Once they are all on a plate  them on a plate and squeeze some lemon juice evenly over them. 

Place in an air tight container in the fridge. 

You could even add a drizzle of melted chocolate, add some marshmallows and sprinkles for the kids.

Crisps and Mango dip

Now who doesn't love crisps and dip? this recipe will give you crisp lovers some satisfaction with no guilt and the mango dip is so refreshing in the hot summer days. If your off to a BBQ, quickly make up this recipe and watch it be one of the first things eaten on the table. You have to give it a try. So you can buy any flavour wraps you like or season plain ones yourself. I love the garlic ones with the mango dip.



Ingredients

Wraps of your choice
Oil spray
Mango
6 Cherry tomatoes
1 spring onion
1 red chilli
Juice of one lime



What you will need



Baking tray and sheet
Pizza cutter
Chopping board and knife



Method



Pre heat the oven to gas mark 6.
Place a baking sheet on a large baking tray and spray with oil
Cut the wraps as if you are cutting a pizza and spray each one with oil.
Place each on the tray and in the oven for 6-8 minutes o until crispy (keep on eye on them they can burn fast).
In the mean time chop up all your other ingredients finely and place into a bowl.
Squeeze of the juice of one lime and stir.
Let the crisps cool when ready a little and serve on a plate with some dip on the side.




Breakfast Tip Tops

I found this recipe from one of my very favourite chef you tubers Gemma Stafford. I will link her blog down below. I urge you to check out her blog and you tube channel. Everything I have ever recreated from her ideas have turned out amazing.
I call these breakfast tip tops because they are so healthy can even eat them for breakfast. On a heat wave you can grab one of these on the way to work, or give one to the kids on the way to school. But you can also eat them any time of day (guilt free). Your kids can eat as many as they want and they wont get that naughty sugar rush. Most importantly is the taste. I cant tell you how good these taste. the combination of flavours really compliment each other. they are delicious please just give them a try! I used these tip top bags from amazon which ill leave the link below. However you can use lolly pop moulds and anything of that sort.



Strawberry and Peach Flavour
Ingredients



1 cup of strawberries
1 peach
1 cup of greek yoghurt
1 1/2 teaspoons of honey



Blueberry and Lemon Flavour



1 pack of blueberries
I zest of lemon
1 cup of greek yoghurt
1 1/2 teaspoons of honey



What you will need



Blender
Tip top bags or other moulds



Method



Place all ingredients into blender and blend until smooth.
Pour into mould and place in freezer for at least 4 hours.



Raspberry and Lemon Slush

I can not describe to you enough how good this tastes. It is better than any fancy Starbucks drink and it does not loose his flavour like the slush puppies you buy the kids. The best thing it is easy and healthy. Serve these at your kids pool party in the garden and you wont leave the blender they will want more and more. Mammy points right there. If you add a bit too much water, just add some more ice to get the consistency you want.



Ingredients



Pack of Raspberries
Juice of Two lemons
1 cup of sugar
2 cups of ice



What you will need



Blender
Cups with lids for small kids and straws (I found these in the pound shop over you can by them online)



Method



Put all ingredients into blender and blend until smooth.
Pour into cups of serve straight away.


Enjoy x








Tip Top Bags
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Zipzicles-Reusable-Plastic-Lolly-Moulds/dp/B00VNDEP7C/ref=sr_1_1?s=kitchen&ie=UTF8&qid=1469253769&sr=1-1&keywords=reusable+zip+top+plastic+ice+pop
Gemma Stafford
http://www.biggerbolderbaking.com/
lolly pop sticks
https://www.amazon.co.uk/White-Plastic-Lollipop-Sticks-Lollies/dp/B008RBNQTG/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1469252051&sr=8-5&keywords=lollipop+sticks

Growing Up With Tough Love

What it's like growing up with a tough love mother.

For anyone who has met my mother she comes across very sweet shy and likable. You have no idea about the hell inside that would put satan down a peg or two. When her buttons are pushed of course. Pushing her buttons are what kids are for. We weren't naughty kids and we have never brought trouble to her door (cough, my brother may have twice) but being such a close family, she is used as a punching bag more than she should. So on occasions hell freezes over and the three of us run with our tails between our legs. Since I'm the oldest child I always get the blame. Even if I weren't even there, somehow its my fault. My brother is the middle child and since he is her only son, the sun shines out of his arse. My sister is the baby of the family and gets away with murder. The angel child. She never laid a finger on us but her favourite choice of discipline when things got out of hand  was the slipper slap.



She is a master of tough love. I have never gotten her pity or sympathy. She might offer me a paracetamol if my leg was hanging off. But that's about it.

Growing up I thought I was very hard done by. I had pocket money that had to  earned. My family use to call me Cinderella. She had me cleaning from a young age and would check I did a good enough job. If not I  had to re do it or loose the cash. My brother and sister have never seen a duster in their life. They always got pocket money.

I had a strict upbringing. While all the other girls my age were at the roof past 10pm, camping and drinking down Pembrey. I was sat putting my sister to bed.  

 Dying in bed with a hangover in my late teens. She would be up at 7am blasting the radio in the kitchen. Send my 5 year old sister at the time in her room to practise her piano on full volume. Let the dog out to bark at every bird he sees. Come stopping up to my room by 9am with a face of disgust that I was still in bed.
"The day has half gone" "get up washed and dressed"


Napping is not aloud. You would be called all the lazy names going if she caught you napping. Even if you have worked double shifts all weekend. No sympathy!

 I must wash no excuses. So my sister can have 3 day old chocolate stuck to her face but I'm a different story. After having a traumatic 36 hour labour and filled with more drugs than Liam Gallagher, she dragged me to the shower almost fainting and washed me down.
"just hold onto my arm jade, you will be fine."

 If I'm unwell that is not an excuse to do nothing. Fresh air is medicine. There are people actually dying in he world. Stop moaning.


She has no problem telling me something that needs to be said. She doesn't care about feelings. If I'm wrong she will call me on it. If I look fat in an outfit, if I'm showing too much skin in a dress, if my lip needs waxing. She will tell me straight!


Yet this woman is a nightmare. For example she will cry in  any situation. ANY! In an emergency panic situation she turns into some sort of cartoon figure. Her words make no sense they are just loud high pitched noises. She is turning in circles and making the most weird facial expressions. You have to deal with her before the person in trouble. You cant think straight with her. The victim has to wait for first aid. Having 4 dogs, 2 little children, clumsy grandparents... First aid comes in handy every week.

I look back now as a mother myself and in my twenties. I worship the ground this woman walks on. As much as I always thought she judged my decisions I was completely wrong. She just wanted to guide me down the right path. Not knowing that if I did mess up she would be sat right next to me with a cuppa telling me her mess ups. Telling me to stick two fingers up to the world and hold my head high. She would never judge me. She can walk into my home while my toddler takes a shit in the potty in the hallway to great her. The walls are covered in chocolate (we hope). The baby is screaming in the highchair covered from head to toe in food. The dishes are piling up in the sink. My washing is over flowing. You cant move from the amount of toys scattered on the floor and I'm standing there with bags under my eyes and greasy hair.
You know what I see In her eyes...compassion. She rolls her sleeves up and sorts my life out within minutes. My wander woman saves me again.

Through all my 'hard done by years' I thank her for the lessons she has taught me. It has made me the mother and woman I am today. She stopped my naive young self making mistakes and protecting me from others. As grown up as I thought I was, she was right to make that call after hearing some stories about others. I'm glad I was kept at home in a safe warm loving home. 'Hard done by?' She absolutely spoilt us rotten with homemade foods. We never had much money growing up but the house never was empty of food. We never went without anything. But most of all she was always there. Never missed a sports day. Never miss a dance show. Always there right behind us supporting and encouraging us. She has taught me to be hard working. I'm not afraid of hard work or hard graft. One day I could be baking cupcakes and contouring my face. The next day I could be drilling holes and building a play house for the kids. This lesson got me through schooling while working part time jobs. At one time I was working three part time jobs while at University. I didn't expect any financial help from my parents. But being good parents if I needed help they were always there. I never went back to Uni without bags full of food each time. I was working so much so I could go travelling over the summer. But each Christmas I would slam the hours in work. Not so I could spoil myself with as many nights out as I wanted (I was always working), I wanted to spoil my brother and sister with gifts. See this is my biggest lesson I can thank her for. I felt I was always treated tougher growing up as the eldest child. I can now see why. She would always encourage me to think about their feelings before my own. And because of this I am extremely close with them. It has also come in handy to being a selfless mother. I have a natural sense to protect them, love and encourage them but most of all be there for them. I have never missed a big day in their lives. I've always been there in the crowd. If for some strange reason my mother isn't around that day they always come to me. Mostly for feeding, but they are here. They are the first people I call when something happens and vies versa. And that's the reason why I had it tougher. I needed to be the tougher child. I need to take care of my brother and sister when she isn't. 

But what she doesn't realise is that she has taught me to be tough but not tough enough to live life without her. 

We love you very much. Happy Mother Day Mammy

Jade

xxx